Spare a thought for the Western men trapped in Japan | The Japan Times
First Class - International Flights. JAPAN AIRLINES open in a new window Passengers with disability and medical needs · Travel with infants and children · Travel with pets · JAL FAMILY SERVICE JAL First Class / A space all to yourself. Relax, savor your time in Take a look at our aircrafts and seat configurations. The Certificate of Eligibility is Japan's golden ticket, and they can be quite a pain to Family stays (Examples: The spouse and children, etc. of a foreign national on a I've met people that came here on a tourist visa planning to get a job and. A5: You can apply for the visa at the Japanese Embassy / Consulate General If it is found that the application does not meet the criteria of visa issuance of a visa for a spouse of Japanese an infringement of human rights?.
Mothers win 90 percent of court decision concerning custody. Some ex-wives are insistent that their ex-husbands never see their children again. Even when a court decides that husband can see the children once a month the ex-wife can refuse to comply and not suffer consequences for it. Former Prime Minister Juichiro Koizumi has three sons.
The two that were born during his marriage were raised his sister Nobuko after the divorce. His wife was not allowed to see them even though she requested to see them several times.
Miyamoto said that Koizumi had promised that she could see her two older sons when they were in middle school. Before and while he was prime minister Koizumi paid child support but never visited him even though he lived less than an hour from his home. After his father was elected, Miyamoto cheered during televised political rallies, kept a picture of the prime minister on the wall of his room and said he wanted like to meet his father.
After many divorces the ex-husband continues to live in the family house on a separate floor. Fathers are often denied visitation rights even though they pay child support.
In Japan "the children inherit a position as head of the household. It's not their individual identity which parents nurture, but the successor to the house. But among them, only the Tokyo metropolitan government has decided to begin to offer relevant services by the end of this fiscal year.
The other 66 local governments will do so later, or have no plans. Though the local governments admitted the project is necessary, they said the services cannot be provided because they have no officials with know-how about such meeting arrangements.
But in many cases, meetings by those directly involved are difficult to hold because of emotional conflicts. According to the Supreme Court, applications for parent-child meetings in numbered 7, an about 3. Private organizations offering to arrange and oversee such meetings do exist, but there are too few of them to meet nationwide demand.
Consequently, only a limited number of people can use the services of such organizations. A man in his 30s living in Hiroshima Prefecture apart from his wife and child while the couple's divorce proceedings are under way said, "As my trusting relationship with my wife has been lost, I can't even directly contact her. He said, "Public assistance is necessary. The public services cover low-income earners with children under 15, and the services are free of charge.
Forty-six of the local governments, or 69 percent, said they were still considering whether to introduce the service. Twenty, or 30 percent, replied that they had no plans to do so. On why such a service had not yet been introduced, a question for which multiple responses were permitted, 32 of the governments, or 48 percent, said they do not have officials or outside experts with expertise about such meetings, and 21 of them, or 32 percent, said they could not secure budgets for the purpose.
A Supreme Court survey shows district courts ordered the forcible transfer of a child from one parent to another in cases nationwide inamid a rapid increase in disputes between divorcing couples over the custody of their children. In the first survey of its kind, the court found the children were successfully transferred in 58 cases, or 48 percent of the time.
In the remaining cases, the transfer failed because the parent rejected the courts "direct enforcement" order. Yomiuri Shimbun, January 10, ] This kind of order involves the presence of court-appointed officers, and is usually used during financial disputes when the state enforces the rights of creditors if debtors do not abide by court rulings. These officers have the authority to transfer movable or fixed property of debtors to creditors.
Other types of rulings include "indirect enforcement," in which a court orders debtors to make cash payments to creditors until the debtors obey a court's decision. Several court cases have ruled it unconstitutional to regard children as similar to movable property such as cars.
Therefore, indirect enforcement has been most commonly applied during custody disputes. For example, the Sapporo District Court ruled in that the order of direct enforcement should not be used for children, saying they "cannot be equated with property. While the number of divorces between couples with children has remained at the same level for several years, the number of family court cases over custody has increased to 1, in4.
This is partly due to the declining birthrate. Direct enforcement is ordered when a mother or father fails to comply with a family court order that demands they relinquish custody of their child. It falls under the Civil Execution Law and is enforced by court officers at the request of a parent. But the Civil Execution Law does not stipulate how a direct enforcement order for transferring a child should take place. Furthermore, there are no rules to deal with matters such as the age-range of children who can be transferred under a direct enforcement order, or outlining when and where the application of a court's ruling should take place.
In one case, the court order was carried out while a child was at a nursery school, leading to an altercation between the child's father and court enforcement officers.
Single Mothers in Japan Single parent households in The number of single-mother households reached 1. About three quarters of these were the result of divorce. There are few single mothers who have never been married. Less than 2 percent of births occur outside marriage.
Cohabitation is also rare and single women almost never adopt. Single mothers have a hard time in Japan. They have difficulty getting full-time company jobs because of two stigmas: Most get by on part time or poorly-paying jobs and live with their parents.
Women over 40 often have a particularly hard time finding jobs. Because of the shame factor, couples rarely see each other after a divorce.
Sometimes single mothers have a hard time collecting child support payments from their ex-husbands.
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Many women tolerate affairs and visits to prostitutes by their husbands and put up with bad marriages so they can avoid divorce and the financial precariousness. Shibuya is a self-professed fortuneteller. Books on hypnosis and mind control were found in his house. His fortunetelling technique involved placing clients in a darkened room and shining a bright light in their facea practice which many said made them feel nervous.
He often told his women clients that they were haunted by evil spirits that would bring them bad luck, Shibuya began his fortunetelling practice in Among his clients were 10 women he married 12 times. He divorced his first wife in after 25 years of marriage.
On eight occasions he married one woman the same day he divorced another. One woman he divorced eight days after he married her.
I share my love will all. The ceremony begins with couples being brought to mansion in rickshaws and ends with their wedding rings smashed under a gavel. One man who went through the ceremony told Reuters that he blamed the failure of his marriage on himself for being away from home too much and spending too much money on expensive hobbies such as cars. As of December a total of 54 couples had participated in the ceremonies.
Masahiro Yamada, an expert on family sociology, told the Yomiuri Shimbun an increasing number of people see divorce not as a failure but a step toward growth. Paige Ferrari, New York Times, September 9, ] Some of the ceremonies have been conducted in restaurants or in secular wedding locations on butsumetsu: The man and woman about to say "I don't" arrived in separate rickshaws. Takashi Kawamura, Yomiuri Shimbun, December 10, ] A year-old woman representing the couple's friends made a speech at the beginning of the ceremony.
The next moment, the couple brought the hammer down and smashed the rings, signifying the end of their partnership. The ceremony concluded when the smashed rings were placed in a frog-shaped monument. The woman who had made a speech said in a somewhat bewildered tone, "[The ceremony] was sad in a different way than a funeral.
However, different living hours became too much for the year-old man, a company employee, and his year-old wife, who worked at an izakaya pub.
The wife found out her husband had an affair with another woman. The couple said they talked about divorcing for nearly a year.
After the ceremony, the husband said with a smile, "I felt such a sense of relief smashing the rings. He then invited the couple to offer short statements. He apologized for running late earlier in the evening.
He instructed them to hold the hammer together and pound down on the band at the count of three. The first blow knocked the ring onto the ground, where Terai scoured the cement floor with the aid of a tea candle.
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The second attempt was a success, squashing the ring into an oblong shape. Bowing, the couple left the House of Divorce and walked toward the nearby Sumida River, where they used to watch fireworks.
Earlier in the evening, crowds lined its banks to release candle-lit lanterns into the water as a tradition of Obon, the festival to remember the souls of the dead. Terai dropped the battered wedding band into a lantern that bore handwritten messages from the couple.
But instead of gliding into the great beyond, it spun clumsily back and forth, tarrying in the water directly beneath the couple. For the first time all night, Atsuko started laughing. Japan is the only member of the Group of Seven that has not signed it. About American children are currently considered abducted in Japan by a parent or family member, according to the U. Some include the children of current and former U. As ofaccording to Japanese sources, the number of cases in which Japanese parents took their children from a foreign country to Japan after a divorce without the consent of their the ex-partners, was 73 in the United States, 36 in Canada, 35 in France and 33 in Britain.
In Septemberan American man, year-old Christopher Savoie, was arrested for abducting his own children and trying to take them from his ex-wife Noriko Esaki Savoiea Japanese national living in Fukuoka. According to police Savoire grabbed his 8-year-old son and 6-year-old daughter while they were being taken to school by his former wife.
The police said he took the children forcibly and drove off with them in a rented car. The couple was divorced the previous January, with the wife taking the kids back to Japan in August without telling Savoie. An American court had granted custody of the children to the mother and specified that they live in Tennessee, where the family resided, and the children would spend a third of the year with Savoire.
The court also said that if one parent took the children out of the state they had to inform the other parent in advance and get their approval. After the Japanese wife left for Japan with the kids local police issued an arrest warrant for her on suspicion of abducting the children.
A Tennessee court gave the father full custody. But the order had no effect because Japan hasn't signed an international treaty governing child abduction. Savoire was released a couple weeks after he was arrested and suspended his indictment. He returned to the United States.
Legal experts concluded that events could have unfolded differently had Japan ratified the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction. It stipulates that when one divorced parent takes children out of the country the remaining parent can ask the government of that nation for help getting the child back and that nation is obligated to return the child. It remains unclear whether Christopher Savoie will ever actually get the money on behalf of his children, year-old Isaac and 8-year-old Rebecca.
There have been similar cases but with the tables turned. One Japanese woman lost her five-year-old son when her Czech husband told her in August he going to buy the child a toy was he was filling up the car with gasoline. The woman, a year-old nurse from Yamagata, Gifu Prefecture, believed her son was taken to Prague by her husband.
Her appeals for help from the Japanese and Czech governments produced little results. It took the wife a year and half, with the help of lawyer, just to track down her husband, who refused to send the by back. Seven-Year-Old Girl Taken from Japan to Guinea A year-old woman living in the Tokyo metropolitan area spoke of her daughter who was abducted to Guinea by her former husband. In Februaryher now 7-year-old daughter was taken from home by her former husband while the woman was out.
He then took the child to his native country. The woman thought of chasing her ex-husband to Guinea, but he had taken her passport with him. Time just passed by as she applied for a visa and waited for her passport to be reissued, she said. The woman said she occasionally talks to her daughter when her ex-husband phones her. However, the woman said she is becoming anxious as more time passes. The woman said she has consulted with a lawyer, but her ex-husband may have already moved to another country with her daughter.
The woman said she no longer knows where her daughter is now. If the government joins the Hague Convention, I believe it will be possible to solve similar cases more quickly," the woman said. The decision was conveyed by Kan to a summit meeting of the Group of Eight countries in Deauville, France. It is a multinational treaty designed to provide an expeditious method to return children abducted from one participating nation to another.
It is also designed to prevent one parent from removing children from the country where they habitually reside without the consent of the other parent after the marriage collapses. The convention was adopted at the Hague Conference on Private International Law in and enforced in As of July85 states are parties to the convention, but few Asian countries have joined. Under the convention, a child under 16 years old should be returned to its place of habitual residence if one of its parents takes the child out of that country without the consent of the other parent after their marriage collapses.
If the parent who remained in the nation of habitual residence demands the return of the child, that child should, in principle, be returned. The convention is based on the idea that it would serve the best interests of the children if they remained in the nation of habitual residence and courts in that nation decide how the children should be raised. Congress passed a resolution for Japan immediately to make legal reforms to address the problem of international custody battles and abductions of children from failed marriages of Japanese-American couples.
In Januarythe Japanese government set up a council to mull over the idea of joining the Hague convention. In MarchU. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton urged Japan to join the convention.
Keiko Kosaka wrote in the Yomiuri Shimbun: By joining the convention, it would be easier for Japan to ask for the children's return from signatory countries abroad. It also would help keep Japanese nationals from being prevented from returning to Japan with their children, on the grounds that Japan has not signed the convention.
Of the cases not ultimately settled by the involved parents, 70 percent saw the local courts order that the children be returned to their habitual country of residence and 30 percent saw the return requests denied. Primary reasons for courts to refuse to return children include domestic violence, child abuse and the children's own preferences.
If Japan joined the convention, a Japanese court would judge whether children brought to Japan should be returned to their country of habitual residence. Those in both camps are making a big mistake. Return that Gaijin Nod. You never know when you might miss out on meeting someone awesome. Having problems at work? Apartment walls too thin? In that case, your only option is to plaster a big, happy grin on your face and pretend that Japan is a magical playground where nothing bad ever happens.
The key to a happy, balanced attitude is in avoiding drawing comparisons between Japan and your home country.
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Instead of trying to decide which aspects about each country are better or worse than the other, maybe just embrace the differences. Get too into the daily grind of commuting, work or school and you can find yourself living the kind of humdrum life that could be lived pretty much anywhere, with nothing to distinguish life in Japan from life back home.
So there you have it, five fairly serious, life-altering mistakes that a lot of foreigners tend to make when living in Japan.