Couples Therapy: How to Stay Close After Baby
After you have a baby, life will never be the same again – especially in your relationship! Here's 30 ways your relationship changes after having. How to effectively handle stress in a relationship after the birth of a baby. Having a baby can challenge even the best of relationships. I knew having a baby would change my day-to-day. But I didn't know it would rock my relationship too. After our son was born, my husband, Aaron, suddenly had.
Everyone will know what he or she needs to do. So if you think that you're always doing 90 percent of everything, you probably are. Just remember, so is your spouse. But men often respond better to direct requests.
I know it might not seem fair because you may never get thanks, but this will make your husband more receptive to future requests. And niceties breed a less combative atmosphere. Moreover, it might be catching!
Parenting Styles The issue: Your parenting styles cancel each other out. It's nice to think you'd share child-rearing philosophies, but it's often hard to predict how you'll feel about sleep, food, and discipline until you're smack in the middle of your fourth night up with baby.
This is not the ideal time to discover that while you favor a sleep-training method that lets your child cry, your spouse really can't deal with tears for any amount of time. You may also find that your parenting styles clash as you reach for the pacifier at the first sign of distress softie while your partner says no sternly when the baby starts to drum with spoons on the high-chair tray toughie.
My friends Tina and Tim Anson discovered that they differed on just about everything when it came to the baby. And he lets naps happen anywhere, anytime, too. I'd come home to see Jake sleeping in the middle of a circle of toys on the living room floor at dinnertime!
Ditto for scheduled naps.
How to Stay Close After Baby
Parenting Styles Explained What worked for them was letting the other deal with the consequences of his or her method. When Tim had to stay up with Jake until all hours on a night when the baby took a 5 p. Similarly, the day Tina attempted unsuccessfully to play with Jake at his play stations while also doing some housework, she realized that having the baby play in the laundry room may be a small price to pay for actually getting the clothes washed. On more serious issues, such as sleeping or feeding, there are ways to compromise, too.
Studies Show What Happens to Marriages After Having Kids | Fortune
For certain things—such as when to start solids—you need to follow set guidelines. Talk to your pediatrician about what's recommended. For issues such as sleep i. Then discuss what's best to do. I know one mother, for instance, who actually slept at a friend's house for a week while her husband sleep-trained their 8-month-old son. After reading about the Ferber method, she agreed it was a good idea, but she still didn't want to listen to her son cry.
Your Sex Life The issue: You have sex half as often, and it's twice the hassle. Of course you're in love, you're just not in the mood for getting naked under the covers. Step one, says Lindquist, is to get in the mood. And the best way is to plan time for having sex. Sure, people joke about making dates for sex, but "remember, when you were dating, you did plan when you were going to have sex.
You got ready for a night out and thought about it beforehand. Get a sitter, shave your legs, and flirt a little. I missed being able to just talk to Ashley, let alone surprise her with a weekend trip to the beach.
Date nights didn't happen, since we don't live near family and weren't comfortable having a stranger watch our son.
The lack of quality time took its toll. Both of you require "me" time to reenergize you as individuals and "we" time to keep you close as a couple. So speak up when you need a break, and arrange an hour or two for your partner to watch the baby while you hit the mall or do whatever makes you feel human again. If you're wary of using a sitter or paying for oneset up a babysitting co-op with pals or trade off with the couple next door. An Rx for marriage monotony: Go on out-of-the-ordinary dates -- like a concert or hike -- as often as you can, rather than heading out for ho-hum dinners every week.
You'll start to associate your relationship with fun again. And book together time at home as well to keep from drifting apart once Baby is asleep. At least once a week, they take turns watching Caleb for a few hours so the other can meet friends for dinner or just read a book. A regular sitter still isn't an option, but they go out for dinner or a movie when their parents visit, about once a month. They also have a sofa date at 8 P.
Pinterest "We fought over our finances. Money wasn't a huge issue until their expenses shot up after Sonya was born. Although Ashley wanted to quit working, the couple needed two paychecks to make ends meet. She changed nursing jobs twice in one year, taking salary cuts in exchange for more flexible hours, but continued to spend money freely.
Joshua grew concerned about having a cushion for the future. Her side "Growing up, I never had to save for something I wanted. I didn't learn the value of that.
8 Shocking Ways Marriage Changes After Baby
But I never ran up debt, and Joshua and I always paid our bills on time. Once we became parents, though, Joshua thought I spent too much on the baby. He questioned every nickel I spent, and I felt like he was trying to control me. I nagged Ashley to cut back because we didn't have an emergency fund, which was even more important now that we had a daughter depending on us.
It can take time to feel like having sex again after birth. A positive approach is patience, a sense of humour, understanding, and a willingness to find new ways of expressing physical affection until you both feel ready to have sex again. Communication Open and honest communication is vital in any relationship — and especially for new parents. If there is tension: Avoid criticism or blame. Postnatal depression PND can affect both mums and dads — and have a big impact on relationships.
If you think that you or your partner is suffering from depression, then supporting each other and finding help is really important. Wider relationships The birth of a baby may bring some relationships with friends and family closer than you expect, and others may become more distant or challenging.
Many parents find friends and family will offer advice and opinions — sometimes unasked for and sometimes in conflict with your own parenting ideas. For many parents the support that may be offered by grandparents, other relations, friends and even neighbours can be invaluable. Time together and for yourself Looking after yourselves as a couple and as individuals is important. It may be simplistic but if you are happy you are more likely to be happy in your role as a parent too.