Trust, communication, addiction, and parenthood: Alice McGurran talks to victoryawards.us therapists about common relationship problems and. Rachel Sussman, a relationship expert and marriage counselor, says couples come to her because of issues like mismatched or diminished. In my 25 years as a therapist, I've worked with countless couples facing a address your part of the problem, and start fresh with a clean slate.
If couples have been able to cooperate enough to set up a home together and raise a family, they soon begin to support each other through the necessary changes to their relationship. For this reason, couple counselling often needs fewer sessions than one-to-one work. There are different types of therapy available: Relationship Counselling for London counselling4London. Couple counselling tends to work with the immediate problems, although the past is used to illuminate the present.
Common Relationship Problems: How Therapy Can Help
Couple psychotherapy, however, starts with the deep-seated problems and by resolving these aims to alleviate any current issues. Outside London, most towns will have a Relate centre or outpost offering local couple counselling relate.
Relate uses two different types of counselling philosophy: The advantage of going to these organisations is that you can guarantee the counsellors have been trained in couple work. Unfortunately, there are many private counsellors who are qualified for individual therapy but offer couple counselling as a bolt on.
Common Relationship Problems: How Therapy Can Help
Inside a counselling session So once you have found your therapist, where does he or she start? Personally, I'm always interested in what makes a couple seek help right now, as opposed to in the months or years during which the problems have been building. I also like to hear each partner's individual perspective. Next, I like to put the couple's "presenting" problems - what they have come to me specifically to discuss - into the context of the whole relationship. So I ask my clients to tell the story of how they met - it helps relax people and remember the good elements of their relationship, and then slowly work up to the present.
In the second or third session, I will draw up the couple's joint family tree. This reveals important life events - the death of a parent, any divorces, and the ages of any children - and shows up similarities and differences in the partners' backgrounds.
'Agreeing to therapy shows that you care'
Although we will generally concentrate on issues arising during the week between sessions, I have a bigger agenda: All too often people try to avoid this pain by denying, ignoring or rationalising it away and diverting themselves with something else. However once all the hidden issues are openly acknowledged - and the fear removed that something worse is lurking in the shadows - even ingrained problems are surprisingly soluble.
The therapist equips us with awareness which enables us to change in better relationship with ourselves, and in becoming free, we experience our relationships change. Unfortunately, especially in the UK, people often feel ashamed about being sexual in the first place let alone sexual problems. We snigger about sex, rarely talking directly about it to friends or family. This shame can prevent people from seeking help.
Working with a therapist who is trained in psychosexual therapy can be very helpful in normalising peoples' concerns, in educating them about sexuality and listening to them in an accepting and non-judgmental way. These therapists talk about sex in detail on a regular basis so there is no need to be embarrassed and often by naming the concern out loud to an empathetic listener it can be disempowered.
Clients can be concerned about so many aspects of sex, sexuality, gender, sexual fantasy and what they perceive to be strange sexual interests and practices.
When this is the case couples therapy can be so helpful in guiding the couple to listen to each other in an active and empathetic manner leaning to understand from where some of the misunderstood behaviours may derive. Sometimes clients seek help because they are fearful and have never been able to have an intimate relationship.
There maybe a history of abuse and trauma that has left them ashamed and terrified.
They may never have experienced affection or intimacy within their family or for some other reason struggle with making relationships. These clients can be supported into exploring their fears and encouraged to recognise they have choices and autonomy.
Therapist Francis Atkinson explains: A father, mother, brother, or sister. Sometimes this works, and there are no problems, and everyone gets on fine. These patterns, which are mostly unresolved developmental relationship dynamics from childhood, can be worked on and understood with a couples therapist.
From psychoanalytic literature to neuro-scientific research there is so much written about the crucial role of the mother and her effect, good but all too often bad, on the developing psyche of the infant.
Memories of what they experienced as a baby and child themselves in being mothered are frequently heightened at this time. In many ways they become strangers to themselves and their partners.
Talking about and seeking help before breaking point for sexual and emotional changes in relationships with partners is taboo.
The expectation, after all, is that the baby has brought you closer, is it not? Couples therapy can be an incredibly supportive way to process what can be overwhelming feelings. Talking to someone who is not emotionally involved or judgemental, who can see the bigger picture at a point when you can only see risks and feel anxiety or despair, can be immensely grounding.
For mid-life couples, the scenery is often different. They are likely not to be experiencing the earlier demands of their marriage with younger children, work, making a home, etc.
I don't want to be too gender-specific here, but menopause can be confusing and can play havoc with moods and sex drive.
Men often start to focus on retirement but don't necessarily discuss changes in feelings of self-worth. In mid-life, couples might see themselves mirroring aspects of their parents. Health becomes a factor and medication can have affects on the body and mood.
Couples in mid-life may have often developed a certain stamina and sometimes forgotten how to access a relationship connection.