How to Deal With Regret After a Breakup - She Blossoms
This article tells you how you can deal with your relationship regrets. We all have certain regrets in life that stop us from moving on and living. Many people tell me how much my relationship advice has helped people cope with their emotions. I don't consider myself much of a writer. I'm a mender of. When life gets stressful, it can make you think twice about how things could have been different—but too much questioning can turn toxic.
We idealize them, forgetting their worst qualities, weak character traits, and annoying habits that drove us mad.
How to Deal With Regret After a Breakup
We focus on everything that was wonderful and forget everything that was bad. Remember your relationship as it really was, in all its ugliness and glory. If you tend to only remember the good parts, talk to a friend or family member who knew you and your ex-boyfriend.
Chances are, your friend will have a balanced view of your relationship with your ex.
Take time to remember his weaknesses and flaws. Just be realistic when you remember who he was…and who you were together. This step to overcoming regret requires you to separate your grief from bad decision-making. Maybe you feel lost and scared. Those are natural feelings of grief after a breakup.
You were in this relationship for a long time, and you genuinely loved your boyfriend. You probably always love him at some level. One Blossom Tip a week. But how do you know this is true? The truth is that no decision is all good or all bad. No relationship is all good or all bad. No person is all good or all bad. Do yourself a favor, and let it go. Trust that your life is in good hands Chance are pretty good that you believe in God. It's hard to think about material things when you're physically attracted to someone; it's hard to put that aside.
But one thing to look at is both of your attitudes toward work. If you're a hard worker and you want to push, push, push, and the other person doesn't, it's hard. It's awfully hard to be working all the time and someone else is sitting there watching you. Imagine what two people could accomplish if both were filled with the same fire and drive. But if one has to be carried all the time, that's hard.
Regret-Proofing Your Relationship
So you should look at the personality of the person. Do they want to succeed in school, or succeed in their work, or succeed period? It's something you need to take into consideration. A key step in the due diligence process is therefore a careful observation of your prospective partner's work habits.
Does he bounce from job to job? Is she unable to make career plans and plugs away in a dead-end job, without looking toward the future? Even worse, does he or she not even look for work, instead depending on you for support or asking for loans?
Such behavior is unlikely to change after marriage -- and you may regret it.
Make Sure Your Values Align Americans love the idea that "opposites attract" and two radically different people overcome their differences and live happily ever after. Because isn't love all that matters? In answer to that question, the elders say: Indeed, among all of the advice about choosing a partner, one particular lesson stands out: You and your partner must share the same core values. The elders hold that much of what is good in a long-term marriage comes from having similar values and world-views, and conversely much of what goes wrong results from incompatible value systems.
If you want to avoid regrets, the elders say that every couple must ask the question: Do we share the same values regarding the most important things in life?
Warren, 86, put it succinctly: Most important is understanding the other person's values to see if they reasonably relate to your own. What do they care about?Stop Digging Into The Past - Sadhguru
How do they think about the world? What matters to them? The elders tell you to think twice or many more times before committing to a relationship with someone who does not share your core values. Personalities can be complementary. Different interests can spice up a relationship. But a clash in basic values is something a marriage cannot easily survive. Three especially important areas to talk about before you commit: You don't just marry a person; you marry his or her family. By this they mean that your partner's relatives will be a lifelong ingredient in the recipe of your married life.
How to Overcome Serious Regrets: 14 Steps (with Pictures)
Thus, an essential part of avoiding regrets is to take your prospective partner's family into consideration before committing to marriage. Most people don't think about in-laws much while dating. But the elders tell us that once you are married, each partner brings a cast of diverse - and sometimes quirky or difficult -- family members to the marriage. If we like them, it's a bonus. If we don't, we can be locked in a lifelong struggle to minimize conflicts and accommodate to disappointments.
Cindy, 72, put the fundamental issue succinctly: There are big differences between two families that cause you to have to work at it. No matter what I got, I was painfully discontent and depressed, and often isolated in fear.
I remember my last night in NYC at twenty-five, sitting in a tiny boxed-up efficiency studio apartment that I rented in a low-income building. Granted, they were big ones: For a long time I regretted that I went to the city where dreams come true and did absolutely nothing to go after mine.
Then I realized something: I was not that girl anymore, and in another second, I would again be someone new. We can all do that. At any time, you can take your regrets and: Identify and address your weaknesses. The alternative is to accept that everyone makes mistakes and then focus on what we can do differently going forward.
For me, that meant discovering why I was so afraid of putting myself out there. The rewards of learning to conquer that fear in the present far outweigh the pain of having given into it in the past. Use your mistake as a teaching tool. If you forgive yourself and bounce right back, you empower your children to respond the same way.