How to handle anger in a relationship

3 Ways to Handle Healthy Anger in Your Relationship

how to handle anger in a relationship

By Kyle Benson. Have you ever wondered why we get angry? According to psychologist Daniel Goleman, “emotions are, in essence, impulses. What becomes problematic is how partners deal with their anger and However, the consequences of reacting with anger in a relationship can. Read Jared's story about How to Deal With Anger in a Relationship with his wife and learn how complex Anger in Relationships can be.

how to handle anger in a relationship

Count to ten before speaking. This will help you choose your words more carefully and not say something you will regret. Surprisingly, this makes the experience of those feelings actually diminish. For one, hug, and do have sex. Even though you both might not be in the same emotional place during the resolution process, connecting physically can help.

In fact, some marriage counselors suggest that if the marriage is on a downswing, have sex at least once a day.

how to handle anger in a relationship

The scheduled connection might put things in a different light and aid in resolving resentment. Meet on a bridge.

how to handle anger in a relationship

This can be metaphorical and also realistic. In order to actualize this place of mutual understanding, one idea is to literally go to a bridge nearby. Pack a blanket and a light picnic snack, go to the bridge, and talk things out.

As a therapist, I often challenge my clients to think about how their reactivity in a relationship gets in the way of who they want to be as a partner.

How to Control Anger in a Relationship (with Pictures) - wikiHow

So often we shut down, complain to friends, or try and control our partner as a response to our anger. While these strategies may feel relieve us in the moment, they are rarely effective in the long-term.

Avoid the Impulse to Cut Off When a person is fighting with their significant others, sometimes they may feel the urge to slam a door and give them the silent treatment. Instead of quickly zooming out of the driveway or walking away, consider telling your partner that you need some time to calm down so you can organize your thinking. Trying to coerce or threaten them into a quick reconciliation is likely to backfire and cause them to cutoff even more.

Take advantage of the relaxing power of your sense of sight, smell, hearing, touch, and taste. You might try listening to music or picturing yourself in a favorite place. Stretch or massage areas of tension. Roll your shoulders if you are tensing them, for example, or gently massage your neck and scalp.

Slowly count to ten. Focus on the counting to let your rational mind catch up with your feelings. If you still feel out of control by the time you reach ten, start counting again. Give yourself a reality check When you start getting upset about something, take a moment to think about the situation. How important is it in the grand scheme of things? Is it really worth getting angry about it? Is it worth ruining the rest of my day?

how to handle anger in a relationship

Is my response appropriate to the situation? Is there anything I can do about it? Is taking action worth my time? When communicated respectfully and channeled effectively, anger can be a tremendous source of energy and inspiration for change.

Pinpoint what you're really angry about. Have you ever gotten into an argument over something silly?

3 Ways to Handle Healthy Anger in Your Relationship

Big fights often happen over something small, like a dish left out or being ten minutes late. Take five if things get too heated. If your anger seems to be spiraling out of control, remove yourself from the situation for a few minutes or for as long as it takes you to cool down. A brisk walk, a trip to the gym, or a few minutes listening to some music should allow you to calm down, release pent up emotion, and then approach the situation with a cooler head.

Anger Management: Tips and Techniques for Getting Anger Under Control

Fighting fair allows you to express your own needs while still respecting others. Make the relationship your priority.

how to handle anger in a relationship

Maintaining and strengthening the relationship, rather than "winning" the argument, should always be your first priority. Be respectful of the other person and his or her viewpoint. Focus on the present. Once you are in the heat of arguing, it's easy to start throwing past grievances into the mix.

Rather than looking to the past and assigning blame, focus on what you can do in the present to solve the problem. Conflicts can be draining, so it's important to consider whether the issue is really worthy of your time and energy. If you pick your battles rather than fighting over every little thing, others will take you more seriously when you are upset. Turn Conflicts into Opportunities Be willing to forgive.

Resolving conflict is impossible if you're unwilling or unable to forgive.