7 Signs You Should Probably End Your Long Distance Relationship
Find out if it's worth navigating the many challenges of long-distance We had two choices: End the relationship before we got too serious. The right time to end any relationship is when it becomes toxic to your own existence and the What are the signs that a long distance relationship is dying?. Once you decide that it's time to end the long distance relationship, it's important that you reflect on everything you want to tell your significant other. Write notes.
How to End a Long Distance Relationship
Then a male colleague and friend texted me one evening during that visit holidays. The questions from John followed quickly: Why was he texting me?
Did his wife know? The fact that John was acting jealous and insecure seems obvious now as I write this down, but it was less obvious then.
I really liked this guy. He made me laugh. He was smart, sexy, and interested in me. Over time, though, these red flags became empty promises. Empty Promises I work in the male-dominated field of law enforcement, and I had learned some lessons the hard way during the marriage that had just ended.
I brought them up with him.
5 Signs You Need to End Your Long-Distance Relationship
He promised to change. He backed off for a couple of days, but within a week or two we were right back to the same old patterns. I tried conveying every way possible of my feelings for him—which were still strong.
I tried talking about our cultural differences in this area, and how I had had male friends and male colleagues my entire life. I told him the thing he was so afraid of being hurt and losing me was the very thing that was happening, due to his smothering behavior. He claimed to have realized where he was going wrong. He even began reading a book to help with his insecurities and anxiety.
I gave him reassurance.
How to End a Long Distance Relationship (with Pictures) - wikiHow
I never lied to him about my whereabouts or who I was with, and I made clear my intentions for our relationship. I wanted to compromise and have that reciprocated. However, he just could not tolerate me spending any time with male friends, or with colleagues outside of work. I visited the USA six weeks after our first visit, still hoping he could change in this area. He assured me he felt differently and that he would address his thought processes and behavior going forward, but it was an empty promise.
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Go with the flow. The pattern of controlling behavior remained. Almost weekly we would have another fight. It seemed he only ever saw our relationship from his viewpoint—what he needed at that moment, regardless of what I was doing or how I was feeling. I felt as though I was being interrogated for just living my life, but at the same time I wondered if I was overreacting and being too dramatic. I would dread being unobtainable by phone for any amount of time as I knew he would become anxious and the questioning would start again.
Listening To Your Gut Instincts I ended the relationship 3 weeks after my return from the USA for our second visit, five months after we started dating. Looking back after it ended I saw the red flags more clearly, and I saw how early they had appeared—earlier than I had realized at the time.
I recognized that I had seen warning signs of his real character and our incompatibility, and that my instincts had been telling me to back off for some time. I thought it was his nerves, his anxiety, his not wanting to be hurt again, or because he loved me so much.
I made any number of excuses for him. But a balanced person puts their own needs across, just not in a selfish way. In a healthy relationship it is give and take, it is listening to what the other person needs and providing that as far as is possible. Think about everything that you want to say before actually contacting the person.
Once you decide that it's time to end the long distance relationship, it's important that you reflect on everything you want to tell your significant other. Write notes down if it will help you remember all that you want to say. While you don't want to read a script when ending the long distance relationship, notes can help you say everything you're thinking without leaving anything out.
Call the person to end the long distance relationship. Many people may find it easier to end a long distance relationship via email, instant message or even snail mail. This is nothing but cowardly. There is no questioning that the phone call is going to be difficult. It's still important that you have a real conversation with the person you've been in a long distance relationship with as this will give the both of you better closure.
Make sure that both of you have plenty of time to talk before beginning the conversation. Having this talk before one of you is about to go to work, study for an exam or simply step out for awhile is not a good idea. If the person tells you that he or she cannot really talk at the moment, explain that the two of you need to have a talk sometime soon.
Begin by explaining how you came to the decision that it was time to end the long distance relationship. Talk about how things have been in the relationship lately and why there have been problems.
Be brutally honest if necessary. It's important that you bring up the bad parts of the relationship as these are the reasons for ending the long distance relationship. Listen to everything the other person has to say.
After you've said your part, the person on the other end of the line will want to respond.