How to let go of relationship expectations and control | Zenory Blog
The one thing that shatters relationships and ruins friendships more than any other is expectations. When we say that someone is not meeting our 'needs', we. How to let go of control and expectations in a relationship. Letting go of control and expectations in a relationship is one thing. It is impossible. Your relationships will change if you let go of expectations--unless it's better to walk away. You can't control others, but you can make yourself happy.
No, it simply means you are open enough and ready for whatever life throws your way.
Live life with an open mind. Determine to go with the flow. Relationships are not based on what one party only does. They depend on what the two — or more — people who are in the relationships do.
Go through the relationships with the clear understanding of the unpredictability of humans. Humans are not machines. Humans are not robotic. People wake up each morning with a fresh set of fears. People go through emotional rollercoaster. Do not be shocked — too shocked, that is — when the person you left yesterday feeling happy and excited about you suddenly shows up not wanting to speak with you.
All these confusing habits are part of what it means to be in a relationship with another human. Any person who tries to control everything will soon burn out. Such a person will not be helpful in the relationship.
Ironically, such people end up losing the control they wanted to display in the first place. They end up disappointed to notice other people not giving as much as they do. At times, it is better to accept that your way is not the only option.
There are times when you will be better off accepting that another idea could just be as good. Be Flexible and Open-Minded Third, flexibility is crucial for the success of any relationship.
Be flexible in all your relationships. Be open to the idea that the other person also has feelings and thoughts that differ from yours fundamentally. Flexibility also involves a bit of detachment from the outcomes.
Some people end up suffering greatly in relationships for the simple reason they have an unhealthy attachment to outcomes. If you are such a person, it will not be long before you begin suffering.
Open your mind to all the possible outcomes. Do not be afraid to experiment. Find a way of making yourself capable of adjusting where necessary. For example, appreciate the fact your partner can cancel a dinner date at the last minute. Your partner does this — not out of disrespect to you — but probably because something more urgent came up. Do not throw a tantrum because somebody now asks to meet you later than the time you agreed on previously.
Effect of Letting Control and Expectations Go Anybody who takes any of the measures prescribed here will soon begin enjoying healthier relationships all through. Taking the measures highlighted above is the first step to repairing a friendship or relationship that has been on the rocks for a long time. While following this piece of advice, remember not to appear or act indifferent. It is so easy to make the situation worse even when your intentions are sincere and pure.
Everything changes when you let go
Therefore, stop expecting others to think or behave like you. He missed all of the concerts and sports games.
I had no idea where my dad lived. Some days I was not sure he was still alive.Letting go of expectations: Heather Marshall at TEDxGreenville 2014
In high school, my dad limped back into my life. I could stop by his apartment and visit him when I wanted to. If I called him, he would pick up the phone. Things were changing between us. Blindingly bright, his true colors revealed themselves the night before my high school graduation when I called to make sure he was coming.
His friend could have used one. I was angry, sad, and most of all, hurt. Rejection from my father has been the hardest thing for me to accept. It is not easy to grasp the idea that someone who once loved me, adored me, gave life to me could turn his back and walk away so easily.
I could no longer take the feelings of disappointment. These feelings were a direct result of what I was expecting from him: Assuming he would respond to things as I would.
- What happens when you let go?
- 2. Seek to understand
- 1. Identify faulty assumptions
Assuming he would care like I do. Assuming he thinks in a similar way as I do. I was living in a fantasyland of my hopes, dreams, ideas, beliefs, expectations, and assumptions.
I was hurting myself most. For the protection of my emotional body, I changed my perception from what I hoped would happen to being open to experience whatever actually happens. Be aware of reality.
Look at patterns and how they regularly treat you. Remember the feelings you had in the past. Many times we yearn for specific responses, like validation and approval. When we do not receive what we want, we may speak or behave in certain ways to try to elicit the desired reaction. This type of behavior leaves us feeling empty when the other person does not react the way we hope they would.
Remember, you cannot change anyone; it is up to them to change.
Expectations -- Part 2: The Boogeyman in Relationships | HuffPost
Throw expectations and assumptions out the door. Release the hopes, wishes, and dreams that things will change by detaching from the ideas. Get out of the fantasy world by not hooking into the thoughts of what could be.