Dec 11, "I've dated quite a few White guys, and when you do, there are some small Talk to your family, and if they don't want to meet him, sit with that. Feb 7, 1. "I'm black and I've dated white guys in the past and I haven't had a super bad experience before. I've gotten some stares, but I usually get. Feb 13, This piece has been expanded to include an addendum, Click here.*I am sorry, but exclusively dating white women is not “just a preference.”.
Actually, I find them more attractive than white people.
I also like white men. I find them beautiful, too. But I just find black people to be better looking. The men are just hotter.
She must have read my mind when she made the disclaimer about finding white men attractive, too. I hate any kind of exclusive or discriminatory thinking when it comes to race and sex, even when it works in my favor.
- Interracial love and lust, from “Get Out” to “Younger” to real life.
I have no problem with racial preferences. But in reality as well as on TV and in movies, the highest-profile interracial couples have been white women with black men.
Why are all my favourite bloggers dating white men? | gal-dem
And a number of biracial celebrities — including Alicia Keys, Drake, Halle Berry, and Wentworth Miller — were born to white mothers and black fathers. I have a theory about white women and black men, and it goes a little something like this. However, once their curiosity is satisfied, their long-term behavior is probably less likely to be racially motivated.
And I realize there are always exceptions.
One can probably say the same thing about gay black men who date white men. Again, this is not a blanket theory.
I once presented this idea to a friend a white guy who dates black men exclusivelyand he had an intriguing response. He said it probably has to do with the male emphasis on the physical. Men are driven primarily by physical attraction when choosing a partner, while with women, other factors can play just as vital a role.
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I knew the woman I was talking to probably never would have been having this conversation with a white person. Clearly I was first and foremost a black man to her… a gay black man. But this was not a pick-up, so I let her continue. She started to tell me about the guy she lost her virginity to 20 years earlier.
White Women, Black Men
A common debate that has been going around has been regarding whether black men are just interested in one type of black woman: Could it be that woke white men are more inclined to appreciate darker-skinned women than black men?
With the onslaught of societal pressure to conform to only one version of beauty perhaps black men, with their own pressure, are averse to women who represent beauty that is continually discredited.
Realistically, an answer to this question is only ever going to be anecdotal. How can one possibly answer whether black men are more or less appreciative of black women, without interviewing thousands of black men and women?
What I do know is that, as black women, we have to convince ourselves that we are beautiful 10 times before we even leave the house. We are constantly in a pattern of uplifting ourselves, boosting ourselves, complimenting ourselves and it can become exhausting. Black women with darker skin and kinky hair combat feelings of inadequacy from society and from within our own communities, due to the pervasiveness of colourism.
Someone who appreciates you and is in awe of your beauty and looks at you as though you are a painting in the Louvre. Of course, you could question fetishization and exotic othering, but it sometimes must be nice to feel as though you are the original black Mona Lisa.
Internalised racism The number of dating sites matching white men with black women seems unnerving to me.
I recognize that people have a preference when it comes to looks, but to only seek a person from one race amidst a history of a structural power division should not be exempt from arguments of internalized racism and self-hate. When preference is coloured with years of viewing black men and women as inferior and not worthy of attraction let alone love, it is difficult to prove that preference is simply preference and not awash with racist undertones.
And so, when black women specifically seek out white men, it is similarly difficult to prove that it is solely a preference and not as a result of internalized racism and self-hate.
If you are told on a daily basis that people who look like you are unattractive and undeserving of love, a natural reaction would be to seek out that which is being denied to you as a form of validation of self-worth. To determine whether a love interest is a result of internalized racism would be near to impossible. How do you separate love from…love?
You realistically date those who are around you, and maybe those people happen to be white. Even more so, you fall in love with a personality and that is devoid of racial boundaries.