How to stop holding a grudge in relationship

8 Tips to Stop Holding a Grudge

how to stop holding a grudge in relationship

Often we hold onto our grudges unwillingly, while wishing we could drop Why do we turn the knife in a wound, preventing it from closing or. Holding grudges in relationships can ruin them. Letting go of grudges is very important to heal resentment in relationships. To know more. Continuing to keep a partner at arm's length from mistrust prevents the relationship from becoming deeper and more satisfying, Harris says, even when If you're the constant confidante to a grudge-holding loved one, Colier.

This will give you a better understanding of their point of view and behavior. Maybe the person in question was in a lot of pain.

9 Reasons Not To Hold Grudges In Relationships -

The more you understand the other person and their behavior, the easier it is not to let go of a grudge. A natural response may be to develop a grudge, or even a hatred of the person who has caused us pain.

But the person who holds the grudge always suffers more! The longer we hold a grudge the more difficult it is to forgive and move on.

how to stop holding a grudge in relationship

You can begin to free yourself when you begin to forgive. Here are eight ways to get a grip on the pain and find the strength to let it go. Choose to create your own healing, with or without an apology. For all you know they are already past the issue and not putting as much thought into it. Some people are unable to apologize or may not fully understand that the person they hurt may need to hear one. Once you have decided to move on, keep on moving.

It will only make things worse and harder to get over. If ever the issue is brought up in conversation, change the subject or just look at it as the past and leave it there.

For every negative situation there is a positive. Recognize the value of forgiveness and how it can improve your life Identify what needs healing and who needs to be forgiven and for what Consider joining a support group or seeing a counselor Acknowledge your emotions about the harm done to you and how they affect your behavior, and work to release them Choose to forgive the person who's offended you Move away from your role as victim and release the control and power the offending person and situation have had in your life As you let go of grudges, you'll no longer define your life by how you've been hurt.

how to stop holding a grudge in relationship

You might even find compassion and understanding. What happens if I can't forgive someone?

Do you hold grudges?

Forgiveness can be challenging, especially if the person who's hurt you doesn't admit wrong. If you find yourself stuck: Try seeing the situation from the other person's point of view. Ask yourself why he or she would behave in such a way. Perhaps you would have reacted similarly if you faced the same situation.

Holding A Grudge: 5 Tips For Letting Go | Relationship Corner

Reflect on times you've hurt others and on those who've forgiven you. Write in a journal, pray or use guided meditation — or talk with a person you've found to be wise and compassionate, such as a spiritual leader, a mental health provider, or an impartial loved one or friend.

Be aware that forgiveness is a process, and even small hurts may need to be revisited and forgiven over and over again. Does forgiveness guarantee reconciliation? If the hurtful event involved someone whose relationship you otherwise value, forgiveness can lead to reconciliation.

Holding A Grudge: 5 Tips For Letting Go

This isn't always the case, however. Reconciliation might be impossible if the offender has died or is unwilling to communicate with you. In other cases, reconciliation might not be appropriate. Still, forgiveness is possible — even if reconciliation isn't. What if the person I'm forgiving doesn't change? Getting another person to change his or her actions, behavior or words isn't the point of forgiveness. Think of forgiveness more about how it can change your life — by bringing you peace, happiness, and emotional and spiritual healing.