How to take over control in a relationship

Who’s in control in your relationship?

how to take over control in a relationship

There are power dynamics at play in every type of relationship. swayed into a new direction (one that you may not love), how do you get on. Power principle - Taking charge in relationships. Don't spill your guts over how happy you were that she agreed to give By being friendly, but not puppy-dog- excited every time she walks into a room, you'll retain control. Gain Control Over Your Relationship Without Being Controlling lives, but when it comes to relationships a lot of us are afraid to take action.

If your Friday nights consist of watching Pretty Woman for the millionth time and then going to visit her sister, unfortunately, you're in this boat.

You share the power.

how to take over control in a relationship

Not a bad deal: You agree to go to her coworker's wedding and, in turn, she agrees to let you host a Super Bowl party at your shared apartment. Symmetry all the way. You hold the power. You decide how and when you're going to spend your time together, and you are not expected to make any concessions to her. Now you just have to make this happen. By taking to heart the Power Principles listed below, you will never again be expected to stand outside a changing room, holding her girly purse like a putz, while she endlessly tries on outfits.

Gain Control Over Your Relationship Without Being Controlling | Vivala

Make Her Come To You If possible, it's always good to make her feel as if she's initiated the relationship, not you. When it comes to relationship power politics, it's to your advantage if she gets the idea that she's just a little bit more into you than you are into her.

It'll keep her somewhat unsure of your feelings for her and, accordingly, she'll not be as likely to make demands on you.

So play your cards close to your hand in the beginning. Therefore, we often react irrationally. Couples, in particular, have a tendency to act in this way. Of course, our partner will sometimes say and do things that upset us.

Gain Control Over Your Relationship Without Being Controlling

When we act out or take the low road in responding, we usually just feel bad. We turn against ourselves and the other person. And we rarely get what we want.

Essentially, we are back in our past, reacting with intensity that has nothing to do with the present. And though we can never control another person, when we change our reaction, we make it much more likely to shift the dynamic, soften the other person, and keep the interaction between two adults in their lives today.

how to take over control in a relationship

For example, returning to the couple who got into an argument while driving, the woman was determined to take a different approach the next time they had a potentially heated interaction. You should be thanking me, not telling me what I did wrong!

The Power Principle:Taking Charge In Relationships - AskMen

Instead of being at odds all night, the two of them were able to feel closer and more like themselves, even while addressing a mutual source of stress.

We can all take control of our responses and be the type of partner we want to be. We can shift the dynamic by changing our half of the interaction. Here are some principles we can adopt to achieve this outcome: Take a pause to decide how you want to react. We often find that after a fight we have the perspective we needed before things escalated, so try finding quiet before entering a storm. If we feel really emotionally shaken up by another person, we should do what we can to calm down before we react.

Take a few slow breaths before responding or try a moment of meditation.

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  • Take Control of Who You Are in Your Relationship

Anything we can do to help us feel less stirred up is a smart choice in these moments. Think about the big picture. We should always try to keep our eye on the end-goal.

The Power Principle:Taking Charge In Relationships

It may feel really good to try to win the battle of an argument, but not if we lose the war. Keeping both the image of who we want to be and our goals for the relationship in the forefront of our mind can help.

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Take note of your triggers. Every one of us would benefit from exploring and really getting to know the situations that set us off. Maybe we feel insecure about being ignored, because we were left alone a lot as kids.

how to take over control in a relationship

If we know what riles us up, we can be aware of the scenarios that are likely to trigger us. Seek honest and direct communication. Conflict is bound to arise in any relationship.