First steps to getting over a relationship

How to Get Over a Relationship: 13 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow

first steps to getting over a relationship

Jul 14, A brief guide containing 8 critical steps/tips to getting over a long-term involved with the decision to end the relationship in the first place. How to Want to Get Over a Breakup, Part II: Say these things aloud to keep you sane The first thing I did after our breakup was devour a pint of blueberries. Jan 25, How to heal from the most devastating breakups. There's no way around it — breaking up straight-up blows. all the reasons why the breakup happened in the first place just to have them there with you again. This step is critically important to bring back a sense of normalcy to your life — and to remind.

This type of contact may give you relief in the moment, but prepare to re-visit all those feelings of disappointment and pain that will follow. Try going off all the platforms for a few days at a time, or at the very least, hide or unfollow the ex. Try to refrain from pumping your friends for information about the ex, and make firm but loving boundaries with those who volunteer any new intel. And yes, your friends do get sick of hearing endless stories as you try to make sense of what happened.

While you may feel like closing the curtains and binge watching another new series, take the opposite action and start making plans with your friends. It will be a a little rough in the beginning, but keep at it, because eventually, hanging out with your friends is the best way for you to fill the void and take your mind off everything ex-related.

Include everything you knew was a problem, but chose to ignore so you could stay in the relationship. Going forward, commit to staying true to your intuition. How do you feel they were the same? They say that the point of every relationship is to complete a developmental task.


What do you think you learned from this relationship and from the breakup? Did you lose pieces of yourself or make yourself smaller so they would feel more comfortable? What could you change in your relationship behavior? Finally, take the pledge and commit: Step three gets your mind off of your ex, but it allows you to do unproductive things for the sake of healing.

I also took up the hobby of paper crafting.

Getting Over a Breakup in 5 Steps

So do something productive like writing, learning to play an instrument, learning a new language, or taking up a hobby. This is a crucial step of rebuilding your identity — one that doesn't include your ex. It's been shown that people who strongly identified themselves with their partners had a harder time getting over the relationship, so the more you can build a new you or rediscover old hobbies, or even rediscover what it's like to do your old hobbies as a single person, the closer you'll get to being happy without your ex.

Work Out Exercising is good for your body as well as your mind. It has been proven to make you more focused and energized. Having focus and energy will help motivate you to do things like those listed in step four.

Go on Vacation This step may not be possible for some of you. For those who can spare the cash, take a mini-vacation. During my recovery, I went on a road trip with my dad and friend — just us three guys. We traveled west from North Texas towards California.

first steps to getting over a relationship

Along the way we stopped at the Grand Canyon, went on the Sandia Peak tram in New Mexico, rode the thrill rides on top of The Stratosphere in Las Vegas, and then went to Disneyland and hung out with my aunt, uncle, and mom she met us there in California. Even my vacation was a bit much, and may be unrealistic for the majority of people reading this. So maybe just head to another city? Sometimes you need to shake loose and enjoy life.

And if you're having impulses to do something crazy — like dye your hair, get a tattoo, quit your job, and move to New Zealand — you're better off waiting to do those things until you're a little more stable and in control. A vacation could be a good way to feel a little impulsive without being totally out of control. You can try on a new identity later on down the line. Take a Break Slightly different from going on vacation, this step encourages you to take a break from dating.

A common mistake people make after being dumped is to date someone immediately after. Instead, take a break to reflect on yourself. Spend time working on bettering your life through your hobbies, your schooling, your career, or whatever else. Stay away from dating because there are too many things that can go wrong with that. You could annoyingly bring up your ex to your new partner, causing them to question your sanity and attraction to them. So just take a break.

You might even be over them faster than you think. Most people overestimate how long it will take for them to get over their ex - S.

How to Get Over a Long-Term Relationship in 8 Steps | PairedLife

So it might seem like things are never going to get better and that you're never going to find someone else, but those thoughts simply aren't true. You should continue doing all of them simultaneously or interchangeably until you have reached an emotional state you are satisfied with.

The last thing you need to do is change your life. This can mean almost anything and will differ from person to person, but one thing should always be done. Throw away the pictures, videos, notes, presents, etc. You cannot completely move forward if you are clinging to the past. Why would you want to hold onto memories of a failed relationship? I mean, sure, there were good moments in the relationship, but the very fact that it ended means that those good memories were outweighed by the bad.

Get Rid of Your Ex The next thing to do is get rid of your ex. Wait a minute, that makes no sense. I mean, we are already broken up, right? They keep them as friends on various social media platforms. Get rid of him or her. You will only hurt yourself by pretending that you can still be friends. Stop worrying about him or her. Besides, one study showed that people who cyber-stalked their exes tended to have more negative feelings about them, missed them more, and in general felt worse about the breakup.

Removing them from your social networks will make it much harder to do. New Job, New Friends Also, if you are young and can afford to find a new part-time job, then do so. A nice change of scenery and routine will help cast the illusion that things are better.

The effort to move forward in life and create major changes to your job and circle of friends will help motivate you to become the person you want to be.

first steps to getting over a relationship

Building off of what I just said, you should also find new friends. Before you call bullshit and close your Internet browser, hear me out. If you have friends that are exclusively your friends, who will stick by YOU and not your ex, then keep them. However, if you had mutual friends, then you might want to consider distancing yourself from them. How awkward would that be to get invited to a party, movie, or some other event by one of your friends, only to run into your ex when you arrive?

Remember, you can always find new friends. So there you go. Those are my tips on how to get over a long-term relationship. Once again, not all of these will work for everyone. You have to choose which ones feel most natural to you. Just remember that all things heal in time. So, cheer up, because there really are plenty of fish in the sea. And I know it hurts now, but eventually you will look back at all of this and laugh.

When my three-year relationship ended, I was devastated. It took me about two months to get over her, and an additional eight months to find a new girlfriend. Instead, use the opportunity to work on yourself. Make new friends, work on personal goals, and play some damn video games guys!