11 Warning Signs of Emotional Abuse in Relationships
The four major signs of emotionally abusive relationships may seem like really different types of behavior, but they produce the same kind of. “Unlike physical or sexual abuse, there is a subtlety to emotional abuse,” Lisa Ferentz, a licensed clinical social worker and educator. In this post, you'll learn about the signs of emotional abuse in relationships from a spouse or romantic partner. Nothing is more damaging to your confidence and.
61 Emotional Abuse Signs (Set Boundaries and Know When to Leave)
No matter what you do, it never seems good enough for your partner. He or she is constantly pointing out what you do wrong or how you could be doing it better. You are made to feel incompetent and stupid, even when you have done your best. Shares your personal information with others. Your abusive partner uses your personal information as a weapon against you.
If you've shared something private or shameful with your partner, he or she doesn't treat that information with dignity and compassion. Rather, it's seen as a useful tool for controlling, manipulating, and shaming you. Gaslighting Emotional Abuse Accuses you of being crazy or being the abusive partner.
You know you rarely feel loved, but she claims you are off your rails and unappreciative of the good treatment you receive. You feel completely trapped and confused. Invalidates or denies their emotionally abusive behavior when confronted. You finally have the courage to speak up to your partner about his or her behaviors, but you are met with a blank stare and a complete denial.
No matter how many examples you give or how convincing you might be, your abusive partner uses gaslighting and refuses to admit that he or she is emotionally abusive. Accuses you of lying or having a bad memory. He comes home with a brand-new sports car and swears the two of you discussed it.
You would never have felt comfortable spending that money on something so frivolous. Hijacks a conversation to confuse or divert the subject away from your needs. Rather than listening to you, she starts yelling and complaining that you never listen to her and that you only care about yourself.
Plays intentional mind games. Blames you for his or her bad behavior. And the argument your partner presents is so compelling, you start to believe it yourself.
You have opened your calendar, your phone, and your computer to your partner to prove your innocence. Logic and truth mean nothing to your abuser.
Your abuser's snide remarks or passive-aggressive behaviors are all in your head. You are just too sensitive to see things clearly. At least that's what your abuser wants you to think. He wants you to believe he is the grown-up, while you are just an overly-needy child.
Tries to make you feel as though he or she is always right, and you are wrong. You may know in your heart of hearts that you are right about something. It could be trivial or important, but your abuser digs in and won't admit that you are right. He or she is so convincing and adamant that you begin to doubt yourself. Makes excuses for their behavior, tries to blame others and has difficulty apologizing.
Your abusive partner never steps up to personal responsibility.
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He or she deflects and blames rather than acknowledging and apologizing. You've lost complete respect for your partner because of his or her inability to own the issues that a causing so many problems.Emotional Abuse Test. Take this test to see if you are in an abusive relationship
Blames you for their problems, life difficulties, or unhappiness. All of the bad things that happen to your partner are your fault. At least that's what your partner thinks. If he or she is depressed, lost a job, or has some other difficulty, you are the reason it's happening.
If only you were a better partner, he or she would finally be happy and successful. If you hear this enough, you begin to believe it. The first step for those being emotionally abused is recognizing it's happening. If you observe any of the symptoms of emotional abuse in your marriage, you need to be honest with yourself so you can regain power over your own life, stop the abuse, and begin to heal.
For those who've been minimizing, denying, and hiding the abuse, this can be a painful and frightening first step. The stress of emotional abuse will eventually catch up with you in the form of illness, emotional trauma, depression, or anxiety. You simply can't allow it to continue, even if it means ending the relationship. A professional licensed counselor who is trained in abusive relationships can help you navigate the pain and fears of leaving the relationship and work with you to rebuild your self-esteem.
Here are some strategies for reclaiming your power and self-esteem for the short term: Put your own needs first. Stop worrying about pleasing or protecting the abuser. Take care of yourself and your needs, and let the other person worry about themselves — even when they pout or try to manipulate you and control your behavior.
Set some firm boundaries. Tell your abuser he or she may no longer yell at you, call you names, put you down, be rude to you, etc. Just keep quiet and walk away. You can't make this person change or reason your way into their hearts and minds. They must want to change and recognize the destructive quality of their behavior and words. If you've been entrenched in an abusive relationship for a while, it can be crazy-making.
You start to feel like something must be wrong with you since this other person treats you so poorly. Begin to acknowledge to yourself that it is NOT you. This is the first step toward rebuilding your self-esteem.
Talk to trusted friends and family or a professional counselor about what you are going through. Get away from the abusive person as often as possible, and spend time with those who love and support you. This support system will help you feel less alone and isolated while you still contend with the abuser. Develop an exit plan. You can't remain in an emotionally abusive relationship forever.
But if you suspect you're in an emotionally abusive relationship, you may be so immersed in it that you can't read the very destructive handwriting on the wall. Emotional abuse becomes, in a sense, your blurred normal. The term "emotional abuse" is thrown around a lot these days and that's a dangerous thing.
To respect its victims, we have to be very careful about watering it down. A one-off fight with your partner in which you both say things you regret is not emotional abuse. Your spouse forgetting your anniversary two years in a row is not emotional abuse. These events may cause some bumps in your relationship but, standing alone, they are not abuse.
Emotional abuse is like this: You're filled with a sickening dread every morning knowing you're facing another day of psychological warfare. You're perpetually drained because all your energy is expended trying to keep your partner happy and, you'll eventually come to realize, those efforts are in vain.
You're nauseous, anxious, fearful -- one or all -- when interacting with your partner. This is your life every other minute of every day. Here are five straightforward guidelines to help you identify whether your relationship is emotionally healthy or emotionally abusive.
Try to be open to these, trust your gut, don't make excuses. Do you share your dreams and plans with your partner? If not, why not? Is your excitement about your new project or hobby met with snorts and snide remarks?
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Healthy relationships are supportive. Those in them don't always agree on plans or next steps, but they hear each other out respectfully. A non-abusive partner is happy when opportunities come your way. Sound like an alternate universe to yours? Pay attention to that. Seems like everyone is complimenting your new wardrobe, recent weight loss, or latest blogpost. Everyone, that is, except the one person who should be leading the cheering section.
Your emotionally abusive partner is far more invested in tearing you down and keeping you down. He really doesn't want you feeling good about yourself.